ONION

it's that time again when its fragrance fills the air
time for another epiphany
time for another layer to come off and lay aside
discarded
though imperceptibly light streams of
cobweb-like strings are trying to remain attached,
the Master's hand is at work.
Ultimate surgery,
I've been through it before
kicking and screaming but now...
now I am a big girl
I have learnt not to cry over onions
I have become eager for the Master's hand to keep peeling away,
one layer at a time,
eager for Him to finally cut the core in half and
let loose all the juice of my deepest intricacy
waiting to exhale in a big loud "ahaaa" moment
when I know that I know that I know
exactly how fearfully and how wonderfully
He made me.

Redemption Song

A crater in my soul
the enemy had been busy digging, emptying out
all that was of my identity.
The knowledge of how
fearfully and wonderfully I am made
back then a pale reflection of the swan
held up like a mirror
to scorn the ugly duckling.

I've come far
since He found me in a desert land,
the empty, howling wasteland of my loneliness.
I've come far
since He surrounded me and watched over me;
I've come back to life
since He guarded me like the apple of His eye.

The miracle of love:
nothing before Him, no-one without Him,
today, redeemed, I rise and fly over the waters of his grace

Breaking In New Shoes (2 part poem)

PART 1
Lately
my feet have seen too many blisters
as if they were covered in bubblewrap
I was walking on broken glass
the North End Road felt as long as the Champs Elysées
no seats on the tube
adding insult to injury.
Yet
the day is near
when the rainbow rises
and I'll walk barefoot on the grass
butterflies caressing my hair
and daisies teasing my toes
The wounds will have been healed
and I will know
that I
have broken into new shoes
they didn't
break
me.
PART 2
Were we like new shoes for Jesus
when the Father gave us to Him
a gift He had always wanted so badly
that He would leave all the ones he already had
behind
while He came out looking for us
Yet
He knew the cost of breaking us in.
A lot more bleeding than I endured.
A much longer walk, a heavier burden.
The absolute giving of Himself to break us in
and break us free
from the rigidity of our legalism,
when we were busy setting up rules to make ourselves look "holier than thou";
or break us down from the pride
of a disrespectful heart
that snares at God
like He's just a delusion.....
Only those whom have been broken in by grace
are ready for some serious walking.

You must learn to make it on the broken pieces (a poem) 2 Feb 08

I am a specialist in patchwork accessories
and all-season wreaths
in which you can use anything that sparkles!
I struggle with jigsaw that have a predetermined outcome,
lego is a bit square,
but at least you can make with it what you want.
If you then give me paint and brushes
I excel, choosing beautifully broken pieces of colour
and harmonising them on paper.
Even poems...the art is in the mix of verbal ingredients,
plenty of space for broken sentences
scrumptious like cookie crumbs.
I love broke pieces. Whole cut-outs are boring!

Emotional Beggar (a poem) 11 Jan 08

A few unanswered calls
when I needed to talk
and to listen to some words of affirmation,
while physical affection is the obvious absentée,
leave me out in the cold
with my tiredness and stress
of yet another self-imposed change
along this road marked by parting shots
to my heart.
emotions that shake with every plane ticket,
I change my mood like I change my clothes
from swealtering in the african heath
to freezing under my bunker of coat-scarf-hat-gloves.
feeling ashamed
that I've been behaving like an emotional beggar
expecting you to drop happiness
into my cup.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop (a poem) from 3 Jan 08

19 when I left and walked out of a monotonous background
of grey,
suits and stiff hairdos,
that I now see has taken over even the colour of your skin.
Critics with in-built blinkers,
Threatened by a gesture which dismantles the repetitiveness of your generational immobility.
Superstitious in your religiosity, where you're only required to adapt without your inner self being involved.
31 when I realize
that even as you watch me and proclaim congratulations
you cannot comprehend
and subconsciously you are
waiting for the other shoe to drop:
for me to come back and surrender to your schemes, to ditch my freedom in the name of security,
but I started walking barefoot a long time ago!